releasing negative thinking

As African American moms, we have a lot on our plates from raising our children to dealing with personal and societal issues. One thing that is often difficult for many of us is saying "I'm sorry." Though it may seem like a simple phrase, it can be loaded with complications, guilt, and ego. In this post, we'll explore why it can be so hard to apologize and offer some tips on how to overcome these barriers.

1. We often associate saying sorry with weakness

Many of us were taught to be strong and independent, and apologizing can feel like admitting defeat or showing vulnerability. We may see it as a sign of weakness or fear. However, apologizing takes courage, and it shows maturity and humility. It's essential to change our mindset and see saying sorry as a strength, not a weakness.

2. We fear judgment and rejection

Apologizing can make us feel like we're putting ourselves on the line, vulnerable to judgment or rejection. We may worry that the person we're apologizing to won't be forgiving or that it will damage our reputation or relationships. However, research shows that apologizing can actually improve relationships and increase trust. It's essential to remember that we're all human, and everyone makes mistakes.

3. We attach our identity to our behavior

Sometimes, our ego or sense of self can get in the way of apologizing. We may feel like our actions are a reflection of who we are as a person. If we've hurt someone, we may feel like we're a bad person, and apologizing would confirm that belief. However, it's essential to separate our behavior from our identity. We can make mistakes without being bad people, and apologizing shows that we're taking responsibility for our actions.

4. We're not always aware of the impact of our actions

Sometimes, we may not realize the effect our words or actions have on someone else. Even if we didn't intend to hurt someone, it's still important to apologize and acknowledge their feelings. It shows that we care about their well-being and respect their emotions. It's essential to listen and try to put ourselves in the other person's shoes to understand how they feel.

5. We lack the skills or language to apologize effectively

Lastly, sometimes, we may want to apologize, but we don't know how. We may not have learned the necessary skills or language to apologize effectively. One technique is to use the "I'm sorry, but" approach, which can come across as insincere or deflecting blame. Instead, we can use a straightforward and genuine apology, such as "I'm sorry for what I did. It was wrong and hurtful, and I take full responsibility."

In conclusion, saying "I'm sorry" can be difficult, but it's essential for building healthy relationships and connections. By changing our mindset, overcoming our fears, separating our behavior from our identity, acknowledging the impact of our actions, and learning the necessary skills, we can become better at apologizing. As African American moms, we can model this behavior for our children and teach them the power of saying sorry. Remember, apologizing takes courage, but it's worth it.

I hope this encourages you in your journey to freedom. Many are afraid, but I come to tell you there is victory and freedom in repentance. If you are dealing with this weakness in feeling like you don't know how to give a genuine apology, Sis, you're not alone. Join me in my community of support where my Sisters and I work through our weaknesses together as we lean on God's unchanging hands and His understanding so that we no longer feel depleted, but full of joy because we've learned to forgive and be forgiven.

Also, feel free to watch my new YouTube video where I share more information about being free with a heart of repentance letting love flow in motion in you.

Have you ever had the urge to hold grudges because someone has deeply hurt you? Did it hurt so badly that you don’t ever want the other person to forget that you’re angry and hurt because of it?

Release is a helpful blend to aid in releasing anger and memory trauma from the liver in order to create emotional wellbeing.

Have you ever noticed a painful knot in your body, maybe in your neck or your back or shoulder and it wouldn’t go away? Everything you did was not working. In my line of work as a massage therapist, we found that these knots are usually called “trigger points.” 

When your body is under stress, whether the stressor is physical or emotional, it always has a reaction to cope with it.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was so excited about having a child because I thought after the emotional traumas, one namely being raped, that I had been through in my life that I could not get pregnant. But, when I found out I was pregnant, I could not wait to tell everybody. 

 

My husband at the time seemed happy too, but I soon found out that he was cheating on me while I was carrying his baby. So many hurtful thoughts came into my mind. I was in a place all alone because he was in the military, so I tried to listen to some of the older saints at the church that we began to go to, and I tried to stay and make our marriage work. I was happy about having our baby, but anger, resentment, and pain were being buried deep down in my soul. Those wounds were leading to wanting to harm him and myself.

Anxiety is a mental health condition that can cause feelings of worry, fear, or tension. For some people, anxiety can also cause panic attacks and extreme physical symptoms, like chest pain.

Eventually, I learned how to love and be loved. My thoughts had to begin to change from negative to positive, and I eventually began to see that if I held on to all the things that were bothering me instead of getting it out of my mind, they stayed there, and it became a bigger worry and frustration for me. That’s why I began to share my story to start shedding those old feelings and begin being made whole.

 

In my community, I teach how to deal with emotions and feelings by using essential oils. It really helped me to remember things-good and bad-so that I could stop blocking my blessings. The numbness was wearing on my physical body in such a way that anxiety was only growing. But now, I can breathe again, and I want anyone who is suffering from anxiety and depression to be free from these things. Watch my video on how to get free from those feelings here.

 

I also have a course that is made with mothers in mind who deal with stress and tension and do not know how to let go of the stress. I teach you how to first, start loving on yourself more, then you can begin sharing that love with your baby through learning how to massage them and it can be such an amazing experience for you and your child. Learning to love and be loved can be a journey, but it is a journey worth going through the motions for healing. Check it out here.