Do you remember when you were a little girl, and your parent yelled at you all the time, and criticized everything you did? When you got grown, you promised yourself you would never do those things with your own children? But, you found that even though you did everything you could to stay away from doing the same things your parents did, you ended up doing the same yelling and criticizing in your relationships, but even worse?
I can remember when I was a little girl, and I was always called “stupid” and “idiot” by my mother, and it really hurt me so bad, and it even made me angry when I got older I went to tell her I forgive her and she told me “I don’t know what you’re talking about…I never called you that!”
OMG!!! Are you serious? You don’t recall ever calling me those things, and yet you did???
Well, I had to learn to forgive whether or not she apologized or even “recalled.” I told myself I never wanted to be like her because I didn’t want my children feeling as bad as I did.
As I started to have children, that’s exactly how it started. I was doing everything possible to keep from yelling at my children. And then, one day it happened…
My oldest daughter started screaming and yelling and throwing a tantrum out in public. I was watching her in shock, and I didn’t know what I was going to do! I took her outside, and I was talking quietly…at first…and then before I knew it, I slapped her. I said oh no, I’m so sorry. I felt so guilty for slapping her especially since I never wanted to hit my children or yell at them.
Did you know that family life is essentially a rehearsal for the next generation? Each generation is another piece in a long chain of life we inherit and pass on to our children.
The way families transmit their traditions and behaviors is through family scripts. These scripts describe the acceptable ways to behave, speak, and even think. It is essentially the shared expectation of how life should be.
The truth is that no matter how much you think you are “not like your parents” or you will do things differently, scripts don’t go away. Most of your relationship behaviors are inherited. The best way to change your behavior is to own the scripts you inherited and improvise on them.
Have you learned how to forgive and be forgiven for the the way your childhood may not have been how you desired it to be? Forgiveness is necessary for healing. I also teach this in my program where you learn how to find the hidden unforgiveness in your heart.
In my Signature program, I empower women to live a lifetime of wellness within six months time. You will walk away knowing how to change your script and owning what your old script was so you can improvise and do something different. Are you ready for change? Schedule a Healing Activation Call with me TODAY! I want to help you turn that situation around and live healed, healthy, and whole!
